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How To Avoid Narcissists And Bullies

Last week, we talked about how to overcome anxiety with gratitude. This week, we’ll talk about how to avoid shitty people.

We’ve discussed it before: personal growth is lonely. When you make a habit of restraining your desires, pushing yourself to your limits, and rejecting the status quo, you become unrelatable to the majority of people in your life.

At first, this is a painful price to pay. I mean, who wants to be disliked, ignored, or forgotten by their friends and family?

In your darkest moments of loneliness, you might let your guard down for the sake of connection. At these times, you might even willingly subject yourself to the influence of people you know to be lying, manipulative, and cruel.

Here’s the thing: you are better with no friends than with friends who will hurt you for their own gain—or worse, for their own pleasure.

Quote Of The Week

“Calculated honesty is a stiletto. There is nothing more degrading than the friendship of wolves: avoid that above all. The good, honest, kindly man has it in his eyes, and you cannot mistake him.” – Marcus Aurelius

Identity Is Action

You are what you do—not what you say. Your actions leave a mark on your soul. In time, it becomes obvious what type of person you are by how you speak, how you carry yourself, and how you interact with others.

When you choose to pursue a path of virtue, you radiate humility, love, wisdom, and grace. When you shine your light, you draw opportunists who want a piece of your joy—or, if they can’t have it, they will seek to destroy it.

Do not let them. But how?

The key is not avoidance, but pursuit. Pursue virtue, and soon, you’ll encounter people on the same path as you. 

But how can you identify a person pursuing virtue? How can you find a true friend?

  • Seek friends who you can both learn from and teach
  • Seek friends who speak and seek the truth
  • Seek friends who value virtue above external things like money, status, and comfort

In time, your sense of discernment will sharpen. You will be able to distinguish friend from foe and lover from enemy. Then, it will be your responsibility to set healthy boundaries and only trust those who have proven themselves worthy.

To state it simply: if you would find a true friend, become one.

Question Of The Week

Think hard on the role you play in your relationships. Are you a good friend?

Live On Purpose // Die Without Regrets

Each Wednesday, I publish a 3-5 minute newsletter + video podcast that applies ancient wisdom to modern life.

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